This is an oddly personal blog but I had to write it to feel better.
So, I have had a bit of a rough time again lately. I will be honest, I actually had a full scale panic attack last night on the way home in the car ( I don’t really want to talk about it but I had to say in order to highlight how important my dogs are to me). I cannot stress enough how much my dogs both help me. Yes, they drive me insane sometimes. Yes, Echo’s thieving is exhausting and Yes, when they misbehave I get frustrated. But, when I am having a bad day they are fabulous.
Last night all I wanted was to get home to my boys. I knew they would help me ground myself again and they do love a cuddle. It’s very calming having a dog to fuss and no matter what, they are full of love and always so happy to see me.
Even now, I am writing this with an Echo cuddled into my feet. It’s a very comforting feeling and it makes me feel safe having the two of them around (B is working away a lot at the moment). What I love the most about being at home with my pups is that I can be me. I know that sounds very cliche’ but it’s true. At work and with my family I am a relatively confident seeming person. Inside I am terrified of not being good enough. My dogs don’t care if I am laughing or hysterically crying. They just want to be close and be petted. It is very freeing. It might sound very odd to people that I put so much emotion into my dogs but I find it very rewarding. They aren’t just dogs to me. I really wouldn’t be without them (even though I sometimes tell them that if they don’t behave they will go to the farm when they are being particularly trying! They know I’m only joking, I hope!).